For weeks I kept saying how much I needed a new laptop, a MacBook to be specific. I remember praying and asking God to make a way for me to earn extra money so I can buy a new laptop. During my birthday dinner I was presented with gifts by some of my friends. In one of the bags was a laptop. A MacBook, brand new, in the box with the plastic wrap around it and everything. In my disbelief I cried, for two reasons: one being that I couldn't believe that God had answered my prayer (I didn't think it was important enough) and secondly, I couldn't believe my friend would do such a nice thing for me.
For an entire day after receiving the gift I still hadn't taken the laptop out of the box. I kept thinking what if it disappears, or I drop it and it breaks, clearly I suffer from some form of paranoia. After back and forth texting with my friend she finally texted "Open it! ITS YOURS! We ain't returning it." In that moment I realized how like this gift I treat the many gifts that God has given me with the same level of paranoia. In disbelief that God would find me worthy of such a gift or that I am capable of carrying such a gift and using it well.
So here are two takeaways;
1. When we pray for things we have to be prepared to receive them. By refusing to open the box I realized how this would be insulting to my friend who had bought the gift. I thought there's no way this can be real, it's way too expensive, it can't be. We do the same with God, so many times we ask God to bless us with things and when we finally receive them, we question whether its really God or some sort of fluke. We doubt if He's capable of answering our prayers, we think, "There's no way God would choose me for such a task", but He would and He has. You are worthy of the gift, take it, it's yours.
2. Once you've opened the gift, USE IT! After I finally took the laptop out of the box, I refused to leave the house with it because again I was scared it would get damaged or stolen. But that's the thing about gifts, they are meant to be used. We sometimes fear that if we use our gifts they will become damaged. This may be us fearing judgement from others, "Will they accept what we have? What if they reject our gifts? What if they abuse our gifts?" But that's not for us to worry about. We have to trust that God has given us the ability to keep and nurture the gifts He has given us and if they get "used up" then we've done the right thing.
So whatever it is that God has placed on your heart to do, that gift He has given you, use it. Write that script, start that business, complete that application. Don't be scared to use your gift.